Come 8th March, there is a plethora of articles on women, super women, their work , life, balance and so on and so forth. Between the lines in most of these and blatantly obvious in others , normally runs an underlying thread blaming men for all that goes wrong with women. How far is this true or is it the only truth?
Here are two instances. Mind you, both the heroines are young, educated, believes in woman’s rights and in being independent.
The first one gave birth to twin girls a few months back – one very fair and the other extremely dark. No, I am not exaggerating here. In every conversation, at least once the statement comes in, “but she is so dark”. Finally I told her, “at least you should not be saying this. Just imgaine the complex that child is going to have if her own mother keeps saying this”. “But Bindu, market is dull for dark girls”. Do I have to say which market she is talking about? And this is about a six month old girl who will go into “the market” after 20-25 years!
The second one has started saving gold for her 1 year old daughter for when she gets married. Gold is a good invenstment, I agree, the purpose of this investment is what irks me. She too is a post graduate, a working woman and with a so called modern outlook.
After all the education and exposure, how broad is the outlook of most of the womenfolk even today? A friend was telling me when they were discussing celebrating women’s day in office, a few girls came up with the idea, “it is our day isn’t it? so let us wear sarees and cook for the men in office”. Now who is typecasting who? Another office has organized cookery classes for the ladies and not one of them could realize the irony.
Why is it that when a girl gets molested in public, a woman rarely comes up to support her? Why is it that a mother demands a hefty dowry for her ‘qualified’ son for an equally qualified girl? Why is it that even young mothers bring up their daughters with, “remember you are a girl” etched in stone in their hearts, mind and brain? Why is it that some women consider single, smart women a threat to them? And can you blame their sons and daughters if they believe this is how it is and should be?
Yes, motherhood is great. With it comes great responsibilities as well. There is a saying, “to know the daughter, look at her mother”. This is equally relevant to sons as well. Do you think a son who has seen his mother standing up against wrongs will turn a blind eye when he sees it elsewhere?
The silver lining in the 100th anniversary of Women’s Day, are not the so called progressive women of this generation. For most of us things were a given because of a group of mothers who stood by their daughters with their limited exposure to the world and in face of opposition from their family. And they did it with so much grace and dignity, never shouting feminist slogans from roof tops. They firmly believed in and dreamt of a better world for their daughters . They never blamed their men for their sufferings, instead stood face to face with it and overcame it, teaching their daughters to do as as well.
The freedom to say what we feel, to do what we dream, to be what were are today, goes entirely to this group of bravehearts and I dedicate this Cenetenary International Women’s Day to them.
And, before blaming anyone else, let us for a moment look into ourselves and see whether we have done whatever we could.