Random musings of a wandering soul


All that I learnt about the birds and the bees came from books. I don’t remember my mother ever talking to me about such things except for the one most abused bane of a woman’s life . I have hated it ever since. Anyhow, long before marriage , I had this lofty notion of being a very open parent where me and my kids would have heart to heart chats about everything under the sun. The notions still remain, while I am learning the ground realities the hard way.

Son is an avid reader, an almost addict to X-box games and a random talker. Any controversial topic that we bring up, is followed by a loud wail, “ammmaaaa…” and he disappears the next minute. He turned 11 last week and has started calling himself a pre-teen. Realization dawns on the mother all of a sudden. Now is the time, ok let us start ‘the’ education. Where to start? If only the fellow asked some questions, I would at least get a straw to hang on to and convert it into a thick rope. Hints seem to fall on him like water on a swan’s feathers (why swan’s feathers you ask? that was today’s morning lesson with daughter ). Then I chanced upon this book aptly titled ‘Just for Boys’, of all places on a supermarket book rack. It talks about the natural changes that boys go through physically and emotionally and even talks about changes in girls too. Son saw the book in the evening and promplty got engrossed in it.

After some time, mother who just refuses to learn, “How was the book?”
“Good”
“What do you mean good? So, what did you learn?”
“Ammaaa!!!!”

A few days go by and we are in the car. Brother and sister are talking about the kids in the apartment. Brother starts chanting,
“Naomi has a boy friend, she has a boy friend, la la la la….”
Mother doesn’t want to miiss a chance, “So what? Don’t you have friends who are girls?”
“But Naomi has a boy friend, la la la la”
“Amma has friends who are boys, your father has friends who are girls, that doesn’t mean they are ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ friends”
“Oh, you have boy friends because hormones have got into your brains”
“What????!!!!”
“Thats what that book said”

The dropped jaws have gone half way back only
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Brother and sister are playing in the next room. In between, mother overhears some interesting bits of conversation and moves closer to the door
“Naomi, do you like girls?”
Daughter, who is five and half, in all her innocence, “Yes”
“So are you lesbian or bisexual?”

Amma is still trying to gather the remains of her jaws from the floor
………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Amma refuses to give up
“So, have you got yourself a girl friend yet?”
“Ammmaaaa!!!!”
“Why, what’s wrong with that?”
“I am going to be a chroooonic bachelor”
!!!!

Amma’s tongue has gone right in and reached her small intestine (or is it the large one? whatever!)

On second thoughts, I should have known better before trying to enlighten him šŸ˜‰
………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
It is Bond time on Movies Now. Father and son are religious followers. Daughter has no clue whats going on, but doesn’t want to be left out.
After a few minutes of some super steamy antics by Bond and his girl,daughter with a long face,
“Amma, its not fair”
Amma with her heart hanging half out of her mouth,”Why? What happened now?”
“That uncle and aunty are playing WWE, you never allow us to”
šŸ˜€

Happy Weekend, folks!
Will be back with some bar tending stories, stay tuned….

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Comments on: "Hormone’s got into my brain and other random stuff" (42)

  1. I am drenched in cold sweat thinking of my future.
    p.s. A small spelling mistake in the first para – gorund realities

  2. ha ha ha…hormones got into your brains…. OMG !!! Cant stop laughing šŸ˜†
    Now I wonder how hormones got into my brains šŸ˜†

    Chronic bachelor huh ???? šŸ˜† Bindu, your post just me forget my bad mood and am all smiles…hugs to mom and kids šŸ™‚

    WWE ???

  3. Literally ROFL! Talk of talks boomerbanging on our face huh šŸ˜›

  4. Bindu,

    Good one!

    Reminds me of my own embarrassing attempts at it when Nikhil reached the teens. I didn’t get any training to do that one. šŸ™‚

    Yesterday, my niece turned 18 …. I was speaking with her about the gifts she received – I asked: So what did dad give you?

    She replied – He bought me a pair of shoes in which each shoe is of a different colour. I will look gay wearing it …. No! I mean lesbian.

    I said – Hellllooo!

    She replied – Why? I am 18 … so I can say such things.

    What can I say? šŸ™‚

    Now you are back in the ZONE!

  5. I burst out reading the last part. WWE!!! šŸ˜† Hahahahah

    I agree with Amit. God bless us newly marrieds… who are yet to have kids!! šŸ˜¦

  6. Hilarious post. I ma still ROFL. I had a tough time when my nephew was about 7-8 years. He is 11.5 years. Now not many questions as before. More into Geronimo Stilton, Asterix, Diary of the Wimpy kid, and so on. Have fun, enjoy, it won’t last long.

  7. he he he he he he HE HE HE HE hhhheeee hhhhheeeeeeeeeeee

    what do i say more ?

  8. Kids’ conversations always make interesting stories. Hormones, brains… hahaha.. God bless!

  9. Hahaha…. the gray areas while imparting sex education is THE toughest to cross! You have given a light touch to gte…umm…turmoil? U might have undermine! Nice read!

  10. Gte = the šŸ™‚ sorry

  11. That is scary !!!! šŸ˜›

  12. Chronic bachelor’s theories are a hoot but his amma’s jaw motions and hearbeat patterns are a scream šŸ˜€
    U r watching WWE but dont let the kids do the same…no fair:-D

  13. Can’t help laughing on the Chronic Bachelor and WWE bit šŸ™‚

  14. LOL!!! What an awesome session….okay, maybe not awesome for you, but just hilarious for the rest of us!! Here, they’ve started calling 10-12 year olds ‘tweens’! You may wish to enlighten your son! He may think you’re cool to know that!! *May*!!

    • Hilarious for us too, I actually look forward to these incidents šŸ™‚

      Thanks for reminding me about ‘tweens’ but I think it will take much more than that to be cool, according to son definition of a cool mom is, “thin and should wear huge dark glasses” . Huge glasses is ok, thin…….well, that is something else !

  15. Ha ha yes is hilarious. Cheers!

  16. I really loved reading this post.. nice way to start a morning. We all fall flat on our faces with our plans on parenting LOL

  17. And to think I almost missed this post! Glad I ‘caught’ it before the hormones got to my brains!! I hope your jaw has since recovered! šŸ˜‰

  18. I simply can’t stop laughing! The WWE takes the cake.

  19. Loved it…!..:)

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