Certain things in life hit you so hard, you become numb for some time. Much has been said and discussed about Nirbhaya and the Mumbai girl. People who know me closely are aware of where I stand on these issues and what my opinions are. Though I actively participate on some of the discussions on Facebook, I have never discussed it openly here. Some times, a small spark is enough to ignite a large fire.
There was a blog past that went viral last week, an apparent first hand experience by soemone on what happened in broad daylight in Manesar, NCR. The post has since been removed, I’m sure the poor guy must have been intimidated by all the attention that it garnered. The gist of the post can be found here. Something that this person mentioned really got me thinking,
“I wonder if any brother, father, friend, and a good person can ever save any girl surrounded by so many people, in this state of mind when they are drunk, full of weapons, roaming around in groups, and UNEDUCATED shouting WE ARE THE SYSTEM. No one can and may be that’s why system is built. And that day it was a reminder, how broken our system is.”
A good friend of mine shared this on his wall on FB and he rightly said,
“Education has nothing to do with it. Have we not seen educated IT crowd using Ma Behen swearwords?”
Our opinions on most of these issues are similar and I have always believed that education is something that is beyond what you get in schools. It is more of what you learn at home, from observing others, from what you assimilate from the books that you read, the conversations that you listen to, the values that define you, the definition is far beyond its conventional expectation.
One of the responses that he received from an ‘educated’ person really rattled me.
“there is a difference between an IT Guy using Maa Bahan and these people. However drunk an IT Guy is, he can never think of raping a girl, mugging people in broad day light. If you see all the incidents, Nirbahaya, mumbai rape case and even in this case…all the people involved were illiterate…I think the root cause is growing class difference in India. By class I mean their education level and financial status. This problem is not going to go…the mind set of the people needs to be changed and that change can be brought only by bridging this gap which I am afraid going to take ages.”
My reaction was…well….typically me,
” How is an IT guy using maa behen different from an illiterate guy? More shame on the educated ones, I would say. You are sure educated guys do not commit any heinous crime? Or is it that you do not read newspapers? You are right, maybe they do not do it as a gang and not in broad daylight. You knew about a Nirbhaya or the ‘Mumbai – girl’ as you call her. Have you heard about the harassment – both mental and physical – that happens in many a home that is headed by the ‘IT guys’ ? The culprits in these two cases got caught because of that very fact. If it was someone highly connected, do you think they would have been brought to justice so easily?
“However drunk an IT guy is, he can never think of a raping a girl” , Seriously? Have you heard of date drugs, spiked drinks etc? Are you saying it is ‘these’ illiterate guys who use it?”
I knew there was no point in continuing the discussion when he responded…
“Stop over reacting and first decide which problem you want to discuss…and speak about the solution not about the problem…stop sending your kids to school if you think education has nothing to do with it”
….and I closed it with a short comment,
“If you think education is what you get out of school, I rest my case. Nothing more to say.”
This happened a few days ago, but the questions that it raised still refuses to let go.
What message are we giving our kids and to society at large? That all the problems are caused by a certain section of the society only? That as long as you have a degree added to your name, you are entitled to talk any which way you want, because, “hey, you know what I mean”? What gives me the right to look down on and pass judgement on someone else?
I still believe we got to know about these cases and the perpetrators were caught fast and sentenced because they belonged to this so called lower strata of society. This is not to belittle the brutality of the crimes, not even for a moment. As a daughter, sister, mother, friend and a woman, I cannot even start to think of the trauma that these girls would have gone through. For each Nirbhaya whom we know of, how many other unknown scared girls would be there who are tortured day after day and specifically by the so called educated class? How cases are diluted just because they are either ‘connected’ or the family is scared because it will affect their ‘reputation’? All the while, the culprits still jaunting around free and taunting their victims like this
And what has schools got to do with it?
Wanderlust at home 
Comments on: "What has schools got to do with it?" (9)
I feel sorry for this ‘educated person’ and all those who have a mindset like him, Bindu. Because, with this mindset, I’m afraid the gap that he talks about is NOT going to bridge!
I completely agree with you. How you behave has nothing to do with how educated you are or what you’re being taught at school! The way you conduct yourself boils down to how responsible you feel about yourself, towards the people, the world you live in. And that sense of responsibility, need not come just from your school, but it starts from your home, continues further to your peers, to your surroundings, to the values and teachings you grasp from everyday life.
Totally Deeps! The more I hear about the so called ‘new generation’ talking like this, the more despondent I get. Its not for nothing that someone said, today’s kids seem to be more conservative than their parents, sadly!
It’s a myth to think that behaviour is governed by education – at least the bookish kind, Bindu. How often, I’ve seen a person who’s not educated make better choices and respond to situations in a better way than someone who is ‘highly educated’.
Exactly my point, Corinne! Our parents and grandparents may not have seen the world as widely as some of us have, but their hearts were much wider. Is it that they came up through difficulties and they know the value of people and things more than tmany of oday’s kids who seem to have everything but do not know the value of anything
When I had initially joined my office, I once overheard two “IT guys”. One of them was teasing the other that he will be getting lesser dowry. Both of them got recently engaged and were discussing the dowries they will be getting from the respective brides. One was engaged to a very rich girl and thought that he was very lucky to get a larger sum.
So you see, education has nothing to do with anything. Remember the Jessica Lal case? Salman Khan’s case? And do you think the parents who leave their daughters will Asaram were all uneducated? Is honour killing done only by uneducated people?
This was the post I wrote back then – http://mashedmusings.wordpress.com/2008/06/29/genx-and-the-dowry-demon/
That was the point I was trying to make, Amit! The much publicized cases were so because it was easy to catch and sentence the culprits. If this had involved some politician’s sons, hardly anyone would have heard about it.
Education has nothing to do with it. I have been a victim of sexual harassment in my previous organization by a client who was in a top position-quality manager that.We got him terminated but we will never know who he is harassing right now unless he has released his mistakes. I can lots of examples like this.
When the mind is corrupted, it doesn’t matter if you are educated or non-educated. The approach may be different but the mental stress or physical pain we face is the same.
Totally agree with you, Tharani. Sometimes, the mental / emotional harassment can have much far reaching impact than a physical one. The worst part about this is, no one apart from the victim may be aware of it. Hugs!!!
I believe the way a person behaves in the society, his/her mindset, is largely defined by the kind of upbringing he/she gets, the kind of exposure he/she gets. This includes education (the school and college type), but is not all. As you rightly pointed out in your post, this includes values inculcated by parents and teachers, what you learn by observing other people and interacting with them, the type of books you read and the movies that you watch. Education is not only what you learn in schools and colleges.
Unfortunately, many people understand ‘education’ to be only that – a degree. There are so many ‘educated’ people committing crimes, as newspaper reports indicate. If you do not want to go by newspaper reports, we just have to look around us to see many so-called ‘educated’ people exhibiting utterly deplorable mentalities. For instance, just the other day, I heard an ‘IT guy’ tell the OH – ‘I don’t give my wife money unnecessarily (she is a housewife). If I give her Rs. 100 to buy something, I ask her to account for the entire amount. You should keep wives under control.’ Another ‘IT guy’ told us – ‘I will not let my wife work when I get married. Who knows what kind of men she will meet?’
I think the solution lies in sensitizing men and women alike since a young age. Laws do help, but it helps even better to teach your kids to respect women, make them sensitive to their issues, and make them understand that they are no less than males. Schools, colleges and parents have a very important role to play in this regard.